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Tuesday, April 01, 2003
David Neiwert brings to our attention an email that's making the rounds among the knuckledraggers.
With all of this talk of impending war, many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try and convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support terror. These activists may be alone or in a gathering... most of us don't know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:
1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.
2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them in the nose.
3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.
4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a nonviolent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.
5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct.
6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.
7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is making.
8. There is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at a high cost.
I can't speak for all of us, but anybody who tried that on me wouldn't get the chance to hit me a second time.
1. Aside from the fact that the people who attacked us are not the same people we're attacking in Iraq...
2. I'm just a stupid lefty blogger, but I'm still willing to bet the author of the email and most of those who respond positively to it call themselves Christians. Would Jesus do this? Or would he more likely find himself on the other side of the fisticuffs?
3. I'm so glad we have democracy and the rule of law to distinguish us from the savages. Nope, force isn't used here for political purposes. We've trancended that.
Update: Digby gives the subject a more thorough treatment.